Diapers, Pool Adventure and Race Training

I actually wrote this post last Friday…but I still felt the need to share. I hope your friday is going wonderfully. 


Good morning friends! It's Friday! Today is actually a day off for me…so I'm pretty excited!

This morning Aria and Harper are investigating a box.

I am drinking all of the coffee.

And we are prepping for a trip to the pool!

Aria's helping. Can you tell?

Yes, those are disposable diapers that she is strewing about. We cloth diapered Aria for the first 9 months of her life. I love cloth diapers. They have treated us, and the environment, very well.

As of late, little Aria has become a terror when it comes to diapering. I'm talking exorcist, head turning all the way around, kicking, judo chopping, throwing her body around, screeching, all to get away from the evil person who dares put bottoms on this lady.

So as you can imagine, snapping the cloth diapers on our wild animal, has become quite the production.

I did a little research to find a disposable that I felt comfortable with, and we decided to give Honest diapers a try.

It has been about 2 weeks, and so far so good. I like them because they are all natural, plant based (ie. no weird chemicals on Aria's privates and no weird chemicals going out into the environment). They're also a cruelty free company which is always a thumbs up in my book.

I don't want to get all preachy, so if you'd like any more info on Honest Co. diapers, just ask.

Disposable diapers are wayyy easier to secure on this beast, as she's fighting to get away from me!

We haven't given up our beloved Charlie Banana cloth yet. We still cloth diaper, just not 100% of the time. Yesterday she was in cloth all day. Today she was half of the day. It all depends on how hostile the beast is on that particular day.

I'm supposed to start officially training, on Sunday. I'm not feeling so positive about it at the moment. The past 2 weeks I've tried to stick to a mock training schedule, to kind of get the feeling of what it'll be like to fit in a structured program with everything else going on.

It hasn't gone so great, unfortunately.

I do get time to workout everyday…usually. But, at max I can only squeeze in about an hour, after PJ get's home from work. I heard somewhere once that you aren't supposed to leave babies at home alone, so training earlier in the day isn't really an option at the moment.
It has been hard to get in anything longer than that, unless its the weekend.

Aria is so young right now, and every day is unpredictable. Some days she needs mama more than others. Some days I work late. Some days PJ works late. Some days, I just can't squeeze in more than an hour, because I have so many more responsibilities. Most days there just isn't enough daylight left for more than an hour, after PJ or I am home for the evening.

I'm not sure what to do. The races I'm planning for this fall are long. It's essential that I train properly, so that I don't get hurt, and so that I can perform at my best level.

There's a chance I may just have to let go of these distances for this year, and go for a few half marathon distance races. Then come back with a vengeance next year…after things calm down a bit.

I'm not there yet though. I'll hold on to my dreams for this year, as long as I can!

How in the world do people balance everything?

Anyways, were off for our pool adventure!

Taking Stock

Currently I am…

Making: Leggings for Aria

Cooking: Sweet potato, quinoa and white bean burgers!

Drinking: Iced coffee out of mason jars

Wanting: A 10 hour deep tissue massage

Looking: Forward to my sister coming today!!!!!!

Reading: Doula by Bridget Bouland

Wasting: As little as possible...

Trusting: That I'll be able to fit in 6 days a week of training for the next 18 weeks

Wishing: My cat would stop sticking her wet nose in my ear when I sleep

Enjoying: Girlfriends. We just had a ladies weekend away! 

Waiting: For some extra time, to lay some mulch in my garden

Liking: Our new bed

Wondering: How long this rain will last today. 

Loving: How peaceful the transition was to Aria's crib. We recently transitioned from co-co-sleeping to her crib. I felt like she was ready. And honestly, although we co-slept longer than planned and longer than we thought was ideal, waiting until I knew she was ready made the transition pretty seamless. 

Hoping: Aria stops acting like a wildcat when I change her diaper. As soon as I get a diaper off of her, she suddenly feels the need to do whatever necessary, to try to keep me from putting a new one on. Resident nudist.

Marveling: At all of the love I see at this graduation party across the street. How proud these parents are! (yesterday)

Needing: A haircut!!! Or a wig. 

Anticipating: Racing racing racing

Contemplating: How I can talk PJ into getting chickens in a year or two

Smelling: Freshly mowed grass. PJ just cut the lawn

Wearing: Pajama shorts and a tank

Following: Aria! She is crawling and pulling herself up on everything! She reminds me of a bull dozer. Just plowing over everything

Noticing: How awesome my doggies are. They are so patient, gentle and loyal

Knowing: That I married the perfect man for me

Thinking: About the amazing 14 year old who carried his brother 40 miles, on his back, in a walk for cerebral palsy awareness

Exploring: Trail running

Bookmarking: Doula workshops

Opening: My windows! What wonderful weather

Giggling: At PJ and my new hobby…sending each other random selfies during the day, with Aria. This was yesterday while I was driving home from the Berkshires.

Feeling: Relaxed after our girls spa weekend!

Happy Monday!

Oh Motherhood.

It took 2 hours to get Aria to sleep for her first nap today…and she only slept for 30 minutes. This is why I'm never on time for work. Just incase anyone who is concerned about my punctuality is reading this.

She is going through some very big developmental stuff right now, so her little brain is on overdrive. Aria actually isn't the best sleeper anyway. She's one of those kids who wants to be awake all the time because she doesn't want to miss anything.

While I love her spirit…girl needs some sleep!

Well, I have one really awesome thing to brag about, and one really awful thing to shamefully confess.

On the awesome front…I made Aria this sweet little dress a few nights ago!

I wish I had more time on my hands. I love to make things…but the time just isn't there. Our days are so full right now, that I can usually choose one thing to do for myself every 4 days. The other 3 days I'm just so darn tired that I sit in silence until I start hearing my neighbors do whatever it is that they do so loudly over there, and then I watch Dexter kill people for an hour before I give in to sleep.

On the scary as shit, someone call the authorities because I'm obviously not qualified to take care of another, much cuter, human, front…Aria rolled off of our bed on Wednesday morning.

Our bed is high. And she just rolled right off the side.

My initial reaction was yelling her name in extreme desperation. Then I scooped her up saying "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." She was screaming because it probably hurt worse than anything she's ever experienced thus far.

I cuddled and snuggled and tried everything in my power to make her feel better. Calm on the outside, but falling apart on the inside. How in the world could I let this happen? How could I let my sweet baby fall off of my bed????
I suspected it a few times before, but now I'm sure that I'm the worst mother on the face of the earth.

She fell directly on her face, and her nose. I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of her hitting the floor. Or the sound of her scream.

I contacted her Pediatrician and he gave me the walk through of how to assess her, and what to watch for.

I've watched her like a hawk for the past day and a half.

She is okay. Her nose is swollen and bruised, and she has a rug burn. But overall she's as slap happy as usual.

My soul is a little darker and the mommy guilt has gotten me pretty good too. I also can't help but notice Aria's eyes are a little less trusting when she looks at me.

I even rolled myself off of the bed a few times, to see how it felt.

For the record. It didn't help me feel better.

In an attempt to end this post on a happy note, here are some pictures of my sweet pooper face from this weekend.

Happy Thursday.

One of Those Days

Today was just one of those days where I feel like I'm totally failing.

Aria and I went to the gym this morning so I could get a workout in. I took her into the gym childcare room and the moment I handed her over, she had a total melt down. The woman I handed her to was trying so hard to comfort her. The other woman, who was sitting slouched in her chair, with an extremely unwelcoming scowl on her face (totally appropriate for working with children), who I have never met before in my life, says "She cries too much."

It doesn't really matter to me what she thinks, but as someone who works with other humans, parents and children for that matter, I understand certain things that I shouldn't say out loud. Especially to a stressed mother, who's child is clearly upset about something.

I felt so bad for Aria because I had no idea why she was so upset (it was probably that woman), and I didn't feel comfortable leaving her. So we got our things and headed out to run our errands instead.

Aria seemed happy the rest of the morning, so I still had no idea what that was about.

Around 2pm she crawled for the very first time!

We had a little celebration and she spent the rest of the day crawling from dog toy to dog toy, trying to get them into her mouth. When she wasn't doing that, she was lifting up the rug, and picking off pieces of the rug pad, to put them in her mouth. Let's be honest here…she got a few in there. I did fish them out though.

I gave her a handful of cheerios to eat rather than the rug foam and Saint Aria decided to feed her people instead. She threw some to her left for Harper and some to her right for Boston and continued picking off pieces of the rug pad.

Once the time came for her last nap, I put her down and she slept for a whole 10 minutes. I had just enough time to think about eating, and instead make coffee.

Because her nap was too short to actually be considered a nap, she was pretty cranky the rest of the evening. I took her upstairs to play on the bed with me, because that usually cheers her up.

She spent the next 20 minutes trying to launch her little body off the sides. It's a good thing I have fast reflexes.

It was then 5pm and I had gotten literally nothing done. I figured I should at least stuff some diapers.

A few minutes later, Aria had gotten really quiet behind me. I look back and she is licking a diaper.

At least it was clean.

Lick away girlfriend.

It's 6:00pm and the house is a disaster area (did I forget to mention we are having family over tomorrow for a BBQ?). I didn't get to run to Target to get shampoo because my baby was eating foam off the floor and licking diapers. I haven't showered yet. I'm still in my gym clothes (I guess I should be realistic and let go of that dream for today). My small dog is humping my big dogs face. And my cat has just puked on my purse.

Bath time is cute and fun as usual. Aria is a little ham in the bath. Afterwards she eats her bottle and we snuggle until she falls asleep.
I leave her and go into the bathroom to empty the tub. I look at the monitor and she's up. I go back in to comfort her. She has started screeching at the top of her lungs. It was actually scary. I haven't heard her that upset in a long time! I comfort, comfort, comfort. She falls back asleep. I go back into the bathroom. Then I hear her screaming as if she is being murdered.

I go back in to comfort. She's almost asleep…The dogs start barking. I yell down to the dogs because I'm so frustrated. She starts a combo of scream screeching because I have scared her. It then dawns on me that she's never heard me that loud before and I probably just scared the shit out of her.

Mom of the year.

After that it took about 30 minutes to snuggle away her sobbing. She's finally asleep.

I'm exhausted and I feel like shit.

The house is a mess and I'd rather die than clean it.

At least tomorrow is another day.

12 in 2014: May

Were finally picking back up on the photo challenge we're doing this year with Jessica from My Baby Birds.

May

Aria turned 8 months old in May. Now that it's warm, were starting to explore outside. It's so much fun to see her experience flowers, dirt, grass, the beach, and all of the fun that comes along with see those things for the first time. 

She has also started standing in her crib…which means her sleep is currently non existent, because standing is so much more fun. 

Her favorite thing to eat is whatever I'm eating…doesn't matter what it is. She wants it.

Her favorite activity is babbling and giggling to herself. The sound is so very sweet.

Happy Thursday Everyone!

32

Today I'm 32 years old.

I actually really like getting older. I feel like the older I get, the better things get. As I get older, I appreciate the little things more and more. I feel more complete and more peaceful, with each year that passes.

Not to mention I appreciate how free I feel being me, with every year that passes. It's a comfortable that 10 years ago I never would have imagined.

I had a beautiful day today. Aria and I had our first grass picnic. I did my annual Birthday Sufferfest at the gym. (Btw, muscles are just now starting to tighten up). I bought some fabric to sew some pretty little dresses for my warrior monkey baby. I cleaned the house. And I snuggled my little girl to sleep.

As I get older I also feel less that my birthday is about me. I feel more that it is about the people I love, and how much they mean to me.

So in this quiet birthday evening, here are a few words for my sweet baby and my tall husband…

To my sweet Aria:

You have changed my world. I always thought of soul mates as a term that was reserved for couples in love. Now it has a whole new meaning to me. We are soul mates. You have a piece of my soul and I have a piece of yours. I look forward to waking up in the morning to see your little face. Every time you smile at me, I swear I might burst with happiness.
We don't have a lot, but because of you I feel so rich. I have no idea how we got so lucky.


To my unbelievable husband:

You are the most amazing man I've ever known. Not because of the big gestures. Because you do the dishes, and you clean up before I get home on days that you get home first. Because when I'm stressed you tell me to go on a run. Because you take the dogs out when it's cold and you always put out the garbage and scrub the bath tub. Because you love me for the weirdo I am, and you support me no matter what. You understand me and accept me. You also love to laugh. And you make me laugh. Watching you with our daughter fills me up with so much admiration and love. I love you with every fiber of me.

Happy Wednesday friends. Have a fantastic night.

And if you're looking for a sweaty sufferfest, let me know and I'll send you my birthday workout.

The Weekend on Wednesday

I know. I know. Way to be late to the game in posting about the weekend. Trust me. My left brain is having just as much trouble understanding "what in the hell is going on?" that it takes me until Wednesday to get my shit in order.

Sometimes I think there was a class that I was supposed to take, to help me understand how to successfully manage adult life. I mean, I was extremely proficient about a year ago. Granted…it took me 31 years to get there. But that's neither here nor there.

That was also before I was responsible for another (much cuter than I) human.

Now I'm constantly that guy (or girl) standing in the middle of the class, naked. Unprepared. Flying off the cuff. Making decisions based on my gut rather than plan-ful logic.

Anyways…the weekend was niiice.

Saturday I had my first race post baby. It wasn't really a race for me. I have been training one of the teenagers I work with, to do her first 5k. She wasn't physically active previously but her goal was to get active. She wanted to start running and working out to help build strength and to positively channel some "stuff". We trained for 2 and a half months and this Saturday was her first race.

I wish I could post pictures, but since she is still in high school, I cannot.

We arrived at the event and this feeling of excitement filled my body. I haven't raced in a year. I felt so alive just being there.

Since having Aria, I'm a lot more sensitive and in tune with what I'm truly feeling. Normally a race setting get's me so hyped up that I'm ready to burst into flames with excitement…but I have no idea why.

This time I knew why. We were walking into the park and I asked her how she was feeling. She said "Nervous". Then she asked me how I was feeling. I said "Like I'm home".

Then I proceeded to draw her attention to the energy buzzing around her. The excited faces of the new runners who are there for their first race, the old pro's who are just grateful to be doing what they live for, the middle of the road runners who are building confidence as we speak, the kids cheering on their parents, the volunteers who are there at 7am to help, despite any sort of compensation and the people who are there to support their loved ones. A race is one of those places where hundreds (sometimes thousands) of different people, from different backgrounds, with different lives and different beliefs, all come together to experience something they love…together.

The thought makes the world a little more beautiful.

...And then there's the boiling competition that runs heavy through my blood. Muahahahha.

The race went fantastic. I ran right along side her the entire time. She pushed through and finished strong. I am so proud of her. Not just because she did it. But because she overcame so much during the training. Sometimes what people don't realize is that the actual training part is 100 times harder than the race event.

During training you meet your demons. The days are long. It gets tough…really tough. You experience moments where you aren't sure if you can do it. Sometimes you are positive you can't do it. Then you find the fire, push through and you see what you are really  made of. I have learned a great deal about myself through training.

Can you tell that I love this?


Sunday was my first Mothers Day. It was delightful. I was able to sleep in, which was extremely  nice. Then we spent the day doing family things…including going out to dinner. The weather was so nice that we spent a lot of time outside together…with the puppies too of coarse.

Per usual, the resident flower baby was charming and curious.

Happy Wednesday Ya'll!